Postpartum recovery: the kit nobody tells you to pack

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Antenatal classes cover birth in detail and then, almost mid-sentence, stop. "Things nobody warned me about postpartum" threads are some of the biggest on the parenting forums, and they read like a shopping list mums wish they'd been handed.

Bleeding after birth

Everyone bleeds after birth, whether it was vaginal or a caesarean. The bleeding, called lochia, is heavy and red at first, then gradually gets lighter and browner over about six weeks. Use maternity pads, not tampons or menstrual cups, until your six-week check. Many mums also swore by high-waisted disposable or mesh pants for the first week.

Looking after stitches and a sore perineum

Most women who give birth vaginally have some tearing or a cut (episiotomy). Even without stitches, the area will be swollen and sore.

• Use a peri bottle or rinse. Squirting warm water over the area while you wee dilutes the urine so it doesn't sting, and rinses you clean afterwards. This was the most mentioned postpartum product in the threads we read. A cooling perineal spray is a handy extra between rinses.
• Cool it. Cooling pads or a wrapped ice pack on your pad bring down swelling. Never put ice straight on your skin.
• Pat, don't rub. Pat dry with a clean towel or toilet paper.
• Change pads often and wash your hands before and after.
• Sit on a soft cushion, and lie on your side to feed if sitting hurts.
• Start pelvic floor exercises as soon as you feel able. They help healing as well as bladder control.

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The first poo

Fear of the first poo after birth is universal. Stitches won't come apart, we promise. To make it easier:

• Drink lots of water and eat fibre: fruit, veg, porridge, wholemeal bread.
• Use a toilet footstool. Raising your knees above your hips straightens your back passage so you don't need to strain.
• Hold a clean pad against your stitches for support as you go.
• Ask about stool softeners before you leave hospital. Midwives offer them routinely.

Haemorrhoids (piles) are also common after pushing. Witch hazel pads, cool compresses and avoiding straining all help, and a pharmacist can suggest treatments that are safe while breastfeeding.

Recovering from a caesarean

A caesarean is major abdominal surgery, and the recovery is real. The tips with the most votes in the biggest C-section recovery thread were:

• Hold a pillow over your wound when you cough, sneeze, laugh or get up.
• Wear high-waisted pants that sit well above the scar.
• Get up and walk a little as soon as you're able. It lowers the risk of clots and helps with trapped wind.
• Don't lift anything heavier than your baby for about six weeks.
• Ask about a support band or binder. Many mums found gentle compression made getting up and moving feel safer.
• Look after the scar once it's fully healed. Gentle massage, and silicone sheets or gels, can help it flatten and fade.

You can usually drive again once you can do an emergency stop without pain, but check with your insurer.

Feeding is the other half of the fourth trimester. If your nipples are sore, our gentle guide to the first weeks of breastfeeding covers the latch, positioning and what soothes.

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